Why in the bloody Hell is everything
by Kaien Brief
Summary: This is a snapshot of the boys waiting for Rose and Scorpius' child to be born. Scorp asks his father and father-in-law about what to expect. This is based on a true story


**So on mother's day I ended up seeing my ex step dad who told some stories of when my brothers were born. This little one-shot was inspired by one of them, the last line specifically.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine**

Astoria had gone down to the hospital's gift shop to buy flowers for Rose and a gift for the baby. I on the other hand got to wait in the hallway outside of the birthing room and watch my now twenty-five year old son pace up and down the halls fidgeting like a child who had way too much sugar.

Honestly, the boy is a Malfoy, he should be able to handle himself in a much more dignified way. Malfoys hardly ever show their emotions, particularly negative ones like nervousness and worry, but then he had been spending an awful lot of time with the Weasley and Potter clans. I said as much to my wife earlier but she responded that the 'maternity ward had this effect on more than one Malfoy.'

Okay maybe I was a bit worried about my wife and child when Scorpius was born but he _was_ a full week early.

I have been here since about three o'clock in the morning and it was now nearly seven. Rose's mother, the know-it-all muggleborn friend of Potter, had gotten to the hospital and into the room practically the second Rose and Scorp did, leaving a worried and winded Weasel in the hall with me. He has been oddly silent since then but I am not complaining. Granger, or Mrs. Weasel now, and Scorp were the only ones allowed in the room but as the contractions got stronger Scorp got more nervous and therefore more active. At the moment the healers are doing a check up on Rose and her progress and ordered Scorp out of the room to stop distracting them. How embarrassing that he let it get that bad. So since then Weasel and I have been watching Scorpius go up and down the hall trying to calm himself. He's hardly ever nervous and never shows it so I guess it is a bit amusing to observe his actions now but after a while it gets bloody annoying. No wonder the healers sent him out.

"Scorpius! Calm down, we may have the money but I'm pretty sure you don't want to pay for the repairs on the rut you are currently making in the floor."

Scorpius stopped and looked suitably embarrassed, "Sorry Dad." All was quiet for but a moment before Scorpius spoke again. "Dad, what was it like? I mean what should I expect?"

"Well first, there will be a lot of screaming and pain, you need prepare yourself for that."

Weasel nodded and added, "When you go in there she will hold your hand and she will squeeze as hard as she physically can, deal with it. I think Hermione nearly broke my hand when Rose was born." While it wasn't direct, it was still weird having a conversation with the red head but after our kids got married we made an effort to at least be civil towards one another.

"And remember," I continued from where Weasel dropped off causing Scorp to swivel his head back towards me, "A good percentage of what she will say to you should be ignored. How large a percentage I am not sure but don't take it to heart when she says she will never sleep with you again."

"Or that she will hex your balls off."

"Or turn them into a purse."

"Or feed them to any various animals."

"I believe your mother's animal of choice was a dragon," I recalled absently.

"Hermione choose alligators first then hippogriffs with Hugo."

Scorpius interrupted my little back and forth with Weasel, "Thanks but I already know all of that, is there anything that people don't talk about that I should know?"

I thought about it for a moment before proceeding with my response, "Well before you were born I had prepared myself to see a bunch of blood so it wouldn't bother me during the delivery." Scorpius nodded and I saw Weasel behind him give me a look of recognition and agreement, he knew what I was talking about. "Well trust me on this, it didn't help at all. When the time came and you were coming out into this world I had only one thought on my mind…"

And then simultaneously, Weasel and I said, much to my son's surprise and horror, "Why in the bloody Hell is everything blue?"

**So there it is, when my first brother was born my ex step dad prepared himself for a whole lot of red blood and instead everything was blue. Has anyone else ever heard or seen that? Or was something weird going on then?**

**Please review and check out my other stories**


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